Pope Francis’ Apostolic Exhortation on Marriage and the Family, Amoris Laetitia, “The Joy of Love: On Love in the Family”

As of the writing of this column (April 5, 2016), Amoris Laetitia has not yet been published. It was scheduled for publishing on April 8, 2016. I am anxious to read it, as the topic of the family has always been near and dear to my heart. In fact, in my coat of arms, I decided to place as the central symbol of my life the table, which represents not only the altar of the Eucharist, but also the family table, indeed the two places where I was formed and nourished – in my human formation as well as my Christian formation. The parallel of the family table and the Eucharistic table are found not only in my personal life, but in the Scriptures, in the life of Jesus, in Christian life.

The Christian tradition tells us that the family is the most basic cell of society. Thus, we can measure the health of society or public life by looking at the health of the family. This was one of the underlying themes that Pope Francis treated recently in his pastoral visit to Mexico: if you want a healthy public life and society, invest in strengthening families!

Pope Francis has dedicated his formal time for catechesis on Wednesdays, when he teaches the crowds that gather at St. Peter’s square, to themes of the family. Last year he noted the following: “In the family, among siblings, human coexistence is learned, how one must live in society. Perhaps we are not always aware of it, but the family itself introduces fraternity into the world” (February 18, 2015)! This is something I have learned in my own life – that is, the greatest lessons in life I learned at home, among the family. I learned to love, to forgive, to work hard, to sacrifice, and to share. I learned these important life lessons from my parents, as I navigated shared experiences with my siblings, neighbors, and friends – even with my enemies!

As a pastor, I have noted that in my 21 years of priesthood the interest in entering the covenant and commitment of marriage have waned. My fellow priests have noted the same. Fewer young couples come to the church – or even to the courts – to enter marriage. Why is this? Economics is a good portion of the reason – both family and global economics. Another reason is fear – fear of making a mistake, fear of divorce, fear of failure. Pope Francis notes the following: “The family tops all the indices of wellbeing among young people; but, fearing mistakes, many do not want to even consider it; even being Christians, they do not consider the sacrament of matrimony, the single and unrepeatable sign of the covenant, which becomes a testimony of faith. Perhaps this very fear of failure is the greatest obstacle to receiving the Word of Christ, which promises his grace to the conjugal union and to the family” (April 29, 2015). Some weeks ago we heard the Gospel reading at Sunday Mass noting that the disciples were hiding behind locked doors “for fear” – for fear of those who might persecute them, for fear of the future, for fear making mistakes, etc. Jesus nonetheless entered the room at declared, “Peace be with you” (Jn 20:19). Jesus calls on us to trust, to trust him and his promise, “I am with you always, until the end of the age” (Mt 28:20). I say to young persons contemplating the vocation of marriage: be not afraid! Prepare, yes! But also trust in the God who leads you: he leads you to love, to forgive, to sacrifice, to hope and to have faith!

St. John Paul II often called on young people to be witnesses in the world. Pope Francis does the same. Marriage is not only for the salvation and happiness of the couple; it is to give a witness of love, hope, and faith in the world. Pope Francis claims, “The sacrament of marriage is a great act of faith and love: a witness to the courage to believe in the beauty of the creative act of God and to live that love that is always urging us to go on, beyond ourselves and even beyond our own family. (…) The decision to “wed in the Lord” also entails a missionary dimension, which means having at heart the willingness to be a medium for God’s blessing and for the Lord’s grace to all” (May 6, 2015).

Pope Francis moreover speaks of the family as a saving entity, one which humanizes the world and which guards it from extremes that threaten humanity and society. He says that the family has as its beneficial effects that of “domesticating the world.” He continues, “The family is at the beginning, at the root of this world culture that saves us... saves us from many, many attacks, from so much destruction, from so many “colonizations”, like that of money or of the ideologies that threaten so much of the world. The family is the basis of our defense” (September 16, 2015)! “The family, the fruitful covenant between man and woman, is the answer to the great challenge of our world. That challenge is two-fold: fragmentation and standardization, two extremes that coexist and foster each other, and together they support the economic model of consumerism. The family is the answer because it is the cell of a society that balances the personal and the communal dimensions…. The family is the principal agent of an integral ecology, because it is the primary social agent, which contains within it the two foundational principles of human civilization on the earth: the principle of communion and the principle of fruitfulness” (September 30, 2015).

I encourage our families, our pastors, and our young people to study the Holy Father’s apostolic exhortation on marriage and the family and to reflect prayerfully over its content – for the sake of our families, for the sake of our church, for the sake of the world.